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Mistakes are easily made in marriage. By both partners.

I’ve seen a lot of them over the past decade, and made many myself.

Why do so many people struggle to find happiness with another person?

The simple reason is that we are limited by what we know and don’t know. We think we know how to sustain love and intimacy for a lifetime, but if it wasn’t demonstrated by your parental role models, you won’t know how to.

Of course you can get lucky and figure it out, or have a partner whose parents were great role models for marriage.

By the way, that doesn’t mean time lots of years together.

That means; sharing affection, joyful and loving interactions, high levels of intimacy and demonstrated feelings of appreciation for each other.

Most parental role models didn’t have that.

And today, most marriages don’t. That’s just the truth.

These are the 3 Biggest Mistakes that struggling couples make:

Taking each other for granted- If you’re not actively doing things to let your partner know that you love and value them, they will feel neglected. That sounds simple right?But so many people get it wrong. And the reason they get it wrong is they don’t really know what that means. Particularly with the opposite sex. We need different things from each other and some are counter-intuitive. Unless you get guidance about what those things are, you will likely struggle.

Trying to solve problems without feeling connected- There are lots of issues in marriages, and often one partner finds themselves at odds with the other.It could be about; raising children, responsibilities for the home, or financial decisions. It could also be about personal rules for love, sex, or marriage, that are at odds with your partner’s rules for those things.The mistake is that the focus on problem solving takes away from the feelings of connection.No one wants to talk about problems with someone that they feel separate from. The couple’s connection takes a back seat to resolving conflicts. This is a mistake.

Self- Focus- Everyone’s busy. Everyone has their own stress. And when under stress, it’s easy to focus on ourselves.It’s easy to think about what you’re not getting, or what your partner isn’t doing for you.It’s also easy to have expectations that you haven’t shared with your partner. How can they meet an expectation that they don’t know about?

The connection between any couple can be fragile at times. Self-focus makes it worse.

If you want to know what to do, and what to stop doing so that your marriage can improve, read The 90-Minute Marriage Miracle. It will give you many examples of couples that turned their marriages around.

If you’re in a hurry to fix your marriage, you are welcome to contact me. Visit www.90minutemarriagemiracle.com and sign up to schedule a free conversation.
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