Have you ever been in an argument with your partner and maybe it escalated into something ugly but later on, you couldn’t remember what that argument was about?

You’re not alone. I have been there myself.

Isn’t it true that no one can push our buttons like our partner?

Unfortunately, the sad truth is that most of what is really pushing our buttons is our own stuff from the past. The misunderstandings and disagreements are mostly not even about our partners. They just wandered into an area from the past that was already raw emotionally.

We all have emotional wounds.

They are usually fear based around rejection, or not being attractive enough, or not smart enough, or not fit enough, or not successful enough, or not good enough in some way and we fight to defend and protect ourselves from more of the same fear.

Most of the disagreements that I see in couples come from a need to be MORE right than the partner who of course also wants to prove they are more right or more important in the relationship.

This is not Emotional Freedom and it can be devastating to relationships.

Your emotions are either keeping you stuck or allowing you to have the happiness you deserve.

While you may think that you are operating your life from some kind of lofty intellectual space, you are in fact living a very emotional life. You would have to admit that your emotions are certainly running your interactions with your spouse.

When I work with couples to resolve marriage challenges, I often find myself spending more time on teaching people skills to resolve emotional wounds.

Why would I do that?

Because past hurts, bitterness, resentment, anger, guilt, and disappointment are preventing people from being themselves with their partners and giving more fully to the relationship.

The bottom line for me is that this works very effectively combined with my relationship dynamics skills in restoring love and connection quickly.

You can easily imagine that when you are happy with yourself and who you are, the relationship is much easier and you feel more free.