Unhappy marriages are common.
It’s the pretending it’s not true that makes it stay that way.
People do not destroy their marriages on purpose.
No one wakes up and says, “Today’s the day I ruin my children’s happiness.”
No one says, “I’m going to create lots of arguments and conflicts this week,
or “I hope to do my part to make my marriage suck starting today.”
No one is intentionally trying to be unhappy, or to intentionally make you unhappy.
But here’s the truth:
If you knew what to do to have a happy and deeply connected marriage, you’d be doing it, And you’d already have it.
Because here’s what’s also true:
If you think you know what to do to stay happily married forever but just refuse to do it, why would anyone want to stay with you.
If you’re not happily married you simply have to decide:
- You’re either willing to learn, or you’re not.
- And you’re either willing to do what does works, or you’re not.
And if you’re not, that’s Ok, but refusing to learn what will work says something about you that your partner needs to know. And It will keep you both stuck forever.
This truth is why people continue to repeat patterns of pain and unhappiness.
My goal is to wake you up to the soft lies and superficial truth that people tell themselves:
- Things are not OK if you cant’ access your partner’s devices and phone.
- Things are not Ok if you don’t feel connected or appreciated.
- Things are not OK if there’s very little affection or intimacy.
- Things are not Ok if your partner’s having an affair or you don’t trust them.
- Things are not Ok if you’re in constant conflicts or disagreements..
- Things are not Ok if you’re walking on egg shells around each other and can’t communicate.
How many days in the year do you feel valued and deeply cared for?
Life is short. We make choices that often don’t serve us. There’s no reason for that to continue if you’re not loving happily together.
Do what’s in it my book.
And talk to me. Reach out near the bottom of this web page .
Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot.
Nothing is going to get better. It’s not. -Dr. Seuss