A True “Falling Out of Love” Story

Two lives passing by each other…

One wondering what they are doing together. The other trying to understand what happened. It’s a place of deep emptiness within the confines of a shared residence.

People going about their routines without a care for what the other feels.

It’s a zone of superficial interactions spiked with conflicts. Any hope of happiness has surrendered.

Attempts at communication are often taken out of context and misunderstood.

There is nothing more lonely.

Two separate lives passing by each other. Both quietly wanting something more from the other;…a glimmer of hope,…a crumb of deep caring,….a kind word, …but it never comes.

The relationship died by simply giving up.

It’s the echo chamber of emptiness, with anger, guilt and sadness, all participating to break your heart.

Regret is all that’s left.

There is no happy ending because each person waited for the other to change.

Don’t let this be your “falling out of love” story too.

What people don’t know is crushing their marriages and their happiness.

Divorce is devastating to finances and emotional lives. It’s the enduring legacy that gets passed down to children, because we all model what we experience from our parents interactions.

There is always far more at stake than people realize.

The success of your love-life deserves your full and immediate attention.

Your willingness to learn what will turn your situation around is where it starts,
Reach out and talk with me.

 

Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot.
Nothing is going to get better. It’s not. –Dr. Seuss

Healing Your Emotional Life for Good

First some background.

Everything you’ve seen, felt, and experienced has been stored away in your mind.

Even the things you didn’t want to see and hear are recorded in the background of your unconscious mind.

Besides the obvious events, this is how things get in:

Whatever you do, don’t think about the blue giraffe with the pink bow. Don’t think about that blue giraffe and pink bow. Try harder not to think about the blue giraffe and pink bow.  

In order to understand this thought, your brain has to show you the image even if you don’t want to see it. That’s the way unpleasant experiences get recorded even when you want to forget them.

Everything that has ever happened to you in your life is archived and part of your programming.

As a result, we are all on auto-pilot more than we realize.

This is how habitual ways of thinking and feeling occur within us. When your buttons get pushed it’s usually more programming than the current thing that person said or did.

What you may not know is that you have the power to take control of your emotions, and to upgrade your own programming.

Think of it like this:

Imagine an enormous white board surrounding you, filled with everything that’s happened to you and everything you’ve ever heard and experienced.

Some examples:

That thing that happened to you in 1st grade, What your mom said when you were 9, That thing you did and got hurt, That person who said you weren’t good enough, The girl who rejected you, The boy who broke your heart, The emptiness you felt when….., That person who didn’t like you, That time you felt shame, That time your feelings were ignored, That big mistake you made, …etc.

That’s a tiny sample of your unconscious world and what drives your programming.

The only way to change your programming is to get in there and erase some of the nonsense on your white board.

It doesn’t happen by talking about the specific issues.

And it won’t happen by saying these types of things over and over to yourself:

“Don’t get angry, Don’t get sad, Don’t get upset, Don’t get frustrated, Don’t get anxious, Don’t feel guilty, Don’t compare yourself,” etc….

Here’s one way that will begin to wipe away the things that don’t serve you.

Start talking to your body, and telling parts of it that you love them.  

As the author of The Accelerated Healing of Chronic Illness, I have found these conversations to be highly effective in erasing disempowering unconscious programing. I’ve also done it with hundreds of people so I have good evidence to support this.

Here’s how you begin to heal your emotional life for good:

  1. Find someplace quiet where you won’t be interrupted for 5 minutes.
  2. Close your eyes, and scan your body from a place of curiosity, and just be aware of how you feel and what you notice. That will take less than 30 seconds.
  3. Tell your body and a variety of body parts that you love them. Simply tune into a particular body part and say,” I love you”, and feel grateful for that body part. Go slowly and take about 10 seconds for each body part before moving on.

It might look like this:

I tune into my heart. And I might even imagine an image of my heart, or simply focus on connecting  with my heart. I could put my hand over my heart to increase the feeling of connection as well.

Next, while feeling grateful for my heart, either out loud or to myself I say, ” I love you heart”,….and …“Thank you for all you do for me.”  I do that slowly and meaningfully, while feeling grateful for my heart.  That’s it.

  1. notice what happens… Are you aware of anything changing; either in how you feel, or in any imagined image of your heart before compared with after? Do feel differently in any way? There is no right or wrong about what happens, or doesn’t happen. Either way is perfectly fine.
  2. Next, pick another body part and do the same thing. Notice if you sense that some particular part of your body might benefit. Try different parts of your body out of curiosity. Try your liver, brain, eyes, nervous system, thyroid, spleen, lungs, etc….Keep going to different body parts for about 5 minutes and you are done.

Now that you’re done, scan your body again, and be curious how you feel overall, and if you feel or notice any other changes.

This is a profoundly powerful exercise. It was part of my self-heaiing process that allowed me to heal myself from eight years of undiagnosed chronic Lyme Disease. It works.

Try this out for yourself without expectations of any kind. Just be willing to see what happens for yourself.  Make it part of your daily routine by setting aside 5 minutes at about the same time every day,  or as often as you like.

You’ll be pleasantly surprised. Enjoy!

If you want to learn how to accelerate your own evolution, and release the hidden emotions driving your behaviors reach out here; jeff@peakresultscoaching.com

Why Love Can Be So Disappointing and What to Do

Why Love Can Be So Disappointing and What to Do

You probably already know the statistics:
– One person in every 3 couples is having an affair.
– US divorce rates hovering around 50%.
– 63% of second marriages and 72% of all third marriages fail.
These numbers don’t tell the real story of the couples who are simply
hanging out together unhappily.

Here’s the truth:

Love is the greatest Unmet Need

What people get from their partners is not what they really want.
It’s most often less than that.

Love is the greatest Unmet Expectation in marriage.

I expect you to love me this way…
It doesn’t happen.

Only one thing changes that;
A partner who is willing, and chooses to learn how to love you your way.

And that will not last unless you are also willing to choose to learn
how to love them the way they want you to.

That’s what I help people do.

That’s how unhappy marriages of 20 years can be transformed so quickly
that people can’t believe it.

I’ve helped hundreds of couples on the edge of divorce save their marriages.
And it is much easier than people think.

Are you willing to learn how your partner wants you to love them?
Are you willing to learn what deep caring looks like to them?

There is no greater gift to any marriage than the couple choosing
to give love to each other in alignment with what each partner wants.

There is nothing more fulfilling.

If you want that in your life, I can help you. Your partner has to want it too.

Let’s talk. Schedule a Rising Love Strategy Session with me here.

Are you ready to love?

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We ignore the very things we want the most in our lives because we are unwilling to tell ourselves the truth:

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