A True “Falling Out of Love” Story

Two lives passing by each other…

One wondering what they are doing together. The other trying to understand what happened. It’s a place of deep emptiness within the confines of a shared residence.

People going about their routines without a care for what the other feels.

It’s a zone of superficial interactions spiked with conflicts. Any hope of happiness has surrendered.

Attempts at communication are often taken out of context and misunderstood.

There is nothing more lonely.

Two separate lives passing by each other. Both quietly wanting something more from the other;…a glimmer of hope,…a crumb of deep caring,….a kind word, …but it never comes.

The relationship died by simply giving up.

It’s the echo chamber of emptiness, with anger, guilt and sadness, all participating to break your heart.

Regret is all that’s left.

There is no happy ending because each person waited for the other to change.

Don’t let this be your “falling out of love” story too.

What people don’t know is crushing their marriages and their happiness.

Divorce is devastating to finances and emotional lives. It’s the enduring legacy that gets passed down to children, because we all model what we experience from our parents interactions.

There is always far more at stake than people realize.

The success of your love-life deserves your full and immediate attention.

Your willingness to learn what will turn your situation around is where it starts,
Reach out and talk with me.

 

Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot.
Nothing is going to get better. It’s not. –Dr. Seuss

The Mirror Test and What Men Don’t Know

You already know that men and women often see things very differently.

If you’ve read my book The 90-Minute Marriage Miracle, then you know there are some real differences between the roles that men and women have in sustaining couple communication, trust and intimacy.

This isn’t something that most men will ever figure out. They need to be taught.

  • If you’re waiting and hoping for your man to understand you better, you’re wasting your time.

That isn’t going to happen unless he talks with someone like me and learns what to do. His idea of what you need and want, is based on his parental relationship models. The same of course is true for you. That’s why relationships often fail.

Our unmet expectations create bitterness and resentment that can be destructive to our feelings of being “in love”.  As you already know, “being in love” is not the same as loving your partner.

The feelings of being ‘in love’ with each other add a magical element to our lives. Without that, it’s just a friendship that brings disappointment.

Will your marriage ever get any better if you don’t do something about it?

  • Some people settle for less because they don’t know what to do.
  • Some people have gotten used to being unhappy.
  • Some people are afraid of trying anymore.
  • And some people have just given up.

These are all just choices.

Take the mirror test. Look yourself in the eyes and ask:

  • Does my marriage fill me with joy?
  • Does my marriage make me feel better about myself?
  • If things stay this way, will I feel proud, or disappointed?
  • And will I accept living my life this way?

Please never give up on your happiness. Some people have conditioned themselves to be ok with disappointment. That’s not a decision that will ever allow you to feel good about yourself.

  • If I don’t feel good about me, how will I ever be happy?
  • And if I don’t feel good about me, how will I ever find peace?

There’s far more at stake in being together as a couple than people realize. This is the thing people don’t know, and it’s crushing their overall happiness.

When you give your relationship the attention it deserves, everything about your life can get better.

If you’re ready to learn what to do, reach out and talk with me here.

 

Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot.

Nothing is going to get better. It’s not.  –Dr. Seuss

Why 2 Million Marriages Crash and Burn Each Year

No one is intentionally creating unhappiness in their marriage. It happens because people don’t have the skills needed to live and love happily ever after.

Your marriage will model many of the behaviors that you saw in your parents’ interactions. That’s just a conditioned reality.

That experience can be a recipe for success, or a recipe for unhappiness.

If what you saw back then wasn’t joyful, affectionate, loving and communicative, your marriage is likely to be challenging.

Why?

Because having a great relationship is a skill. It’s a learned behavior.

No different than flying a plane.

You can learn how to do that really well. But you have to get an expert to either model that for you, or to teach you.

You will not figure out how to fly a plane on your own, and you won’t have a successful marriage if you don’t have the skills.

To pretend you’re a pilot when you’re not will end in disaster.

To imagine that you have the skills for a happy and deeply fulfilling marriage may not be accurate, if that isn’t what exits in your life right now.

You could think of lots or reasons why it isn’t that way, but the truth is whatever it is.

Your success won’t come because you want it to, or because you love your partner.

It will come because you were willing to learn the skills to pilot your marriage successfully.

  • Wanting it to work isn’t enough.
  • Hoping it’s going to get better will end in disappointment.
  • Learning and doing what works is all that matters.

What you and your partner know about sustaining love for a lifetime will always be reflected in your results.

Each year over 2 million couples divorce. It’s not because they’ve fallen out of love. It’s because they didn’t know what to do to keep love alive for a lifetime.

Here are easy ways to learn the skills:

Read The 90-Minute Marriage Miracle

Reach out and talk to me here.

 

 

Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot,

Nothing is going to get better. It’s not.  -Dr. Seuss

Why Couples Continue to Struggle

I’ve had some wake-up calls in my life.

You’ve probably had your share too.

One of them was my divorce 25 years ago. That drove me to figure out how to have a great marriage.  Today that’s easy because I know what to do. I want you to have that wisdom because it takes all your relationship stress away.

What knowledge and understanding is missing that keeps you stuck and unhappy?

Because that’s really all it is.

And until you admit that to yourself, nothing is ever going to change.

And it determines your path ahead:

  • Will you be happy or unhappy?
  • Will you have peace or be overwhelmed with stress?

Without realizing it people choose to be unhappy for the rest of their lives because they won’t tell themselves the truth:

They don’t have the knowledge and understanding needed to have a great marriage,

And they are unwilling to do what’s needed to change their situation.

  • Some pretend things are Ok when they are not.
  • Some think talking about the problems will solve them. It won’t.
  • Some think communication is their greatest challenge. It’s not.
  • Some blame their partner and do nothing. That creates consequences.

Do you have the knowledge and understanding needed to turn your situation around?

People can pretend it’s something else.  And to make a decision to continue to struggle and stay stuck will always haunt them.

Never pretend it’s Ok to be unhappy. There is no escape for letting yourself down like that.

Have you read The 90-Minute Marriage Miracle and used the ideas?

Have you spoken with me so that you have the knowledge and understanding to fix your situation?

If not, now might be a good time to do that.

 

 

Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot,

nothing is going to get better. It’s not.  –Dr. Seuss