Our relationships always reflect what we do and fail to do
Not everyone is fully ready to allow love into their lives.
That’s simply my experience working with couples over the past decade. Not true, deeply connected, and profoundly intimate, shared love.
It scares people.
They settle for something else, something much smaller by playing it safe, not giving their all, not loving to the depths and breadths of their hearts.
- They often wait to see what the other person is willing to do.
- They frequently withhold, and put the brakes on giving fully.
- Sometimes they keep score; who did what for whom last. In their minds they think; “It’s your turn, so I’m unwilling to do anything until you go first. Why do I always have to be the one to give?”
- Sometimes it’s a demand; “Give me the love I deserve or I’ll find someone else.”
- Sometimes it’s pain; “Love me unconditionally or I won’t know how to love you.”
But the love they settle for is Ok.
It’s not joyful, inspiring, passionate and fulfilling, but it’s “good enough”.
Or is it?
What are you capable of experiencing together as a couple?
Does it even matter if your marriage is never anything more than what exists today?
Fear can hold people hostage, and opens the door for the pain and regret of what little love and affection they settled for?
Would you prefer:
Feelings of closeness, true sharing, feeling valued, intimately connected, genuine affection, inspired passion, a deep sense of comfort to be yourself, a profound sense of peace in each other’s presence, and an aligned vision of the future.
Or what you have today?
How will you ever really know what your marriage is capable of in terms of happiness and personal fulfillment?
Or is what you already have “good enough” for you?
And what will you do to make sure that your “good enough” stays that way?
The only permanence in life is change, and clearly relationships change.
Will you be happier one year from now, or less happy? Will you feel more or less in love?
Today is one of those choice points. A decision will be made that will perhaps determine the rest of your married life.
Is your marriage “good enough”, or are you actually willing to pursue something more meaningful?
You could put off that decision indefinitely. It’s probably not really that big a deal.
Or is it?
The next time you are wondering what can be done to improve your marriage, talk with me and get my direct input on how to resolve your situation.