Your marriage succeeds or fails starting in your mind.
Positive, loving thoughts about your partner can shift and change over the years? And it can happen much faster than that.
Are your feelings for your partner different today than when you felt head-over-heels in love?
- Do you feel more, or less deeply connected to them?
- Do you feel more, or less in love with them?
If you do not feel more in love and more connected, I urge you to do something different.
Any changes can be subtle things at first.
Something happens that bothers you, and maybe it’s not really that big a deal. But then, another thing happens, or the same thing gets repeated over and over.
All of these little things stack up over time. The little things begin to feel like big things. And then if a big thing does happen, it can feel like the beginning of the end of your happiness.
The levels of love, connection, and even the attraction that you feel, can be disappointing.
Here’s the Root Cause of that Disappointment:
Your unmet expectations.
You have lots of expectations about your partner. Most of them kept to yourself.
Here are some thoughts you might have in your mind:
- I expect you to make me your priority.
- I expect you to be there for me when I need you.
- I expect you to give me sex when I want it.
- I expect you to do what you say you’re going to.
- I expect you to love only me, and the way that makes me feel loved.
- I expect you to value and appreciate me.
- I expect you to share in the responsibilities of the home.
- I expect you to give me your full attention when I talk to you.
All of these unmet expectations can lead to disappointment. And that disappointment often creates feelings beneath the surface of bitterness or resentment.
You know this is true.
Here’s how you begin to improve your marriage even if you feel disappointed:
- Ignore all of the problems in your marriage for now.
They can’t be fixed until you and your partner feel more connected with each other. That connected feeling is the only thing to start doing something about.
- Do whatever will improve the feelings of connectedness between you both.
And that requires YOU to change how you interact with them.
Of course you can show them this article. But don’t expect them to read it and change THEIR behavior, because you will likely be….disappointed.
However, when YOU change your behavior into something more fun, playful, happy, and light-hearted anytime you’re around them, they will also change their behaviors towards you.
Try it out for yourself and see.
That’s how it starts. You can begin to improve your marriage all by yourself.
The real issues can only be addressed once you feel more deeply connected with each other.
If you are fed- up and unhappy, talk with me. I’ve helped hundreds of couples quickly turn their marriages around. It’s easier than you think.
Sign up for a complimentary Rising Love strategy session today. You’ll learn what to stop doing, and have a clear understanding of what to do to improve your marriage.