Relationships are lost the easy way. It’s easy to neglect your partner. It’s easy to make anything else more important than your relationship. It’s easy to forget it’s not always about you. It’s easy to take it all for granted.
The reality of break up and divorce is not easy. The emotional impact on your health and well being is very difficult. The emotional impact on any children involved is brutal. The financial impact can be devastating.
People think they understand this, but understanding is never experiencing. Losing a relationship the easy way often brings long lasting pain and regret. The impact is usually much worse than people imagine.
If your relationship is not where you want it to be, you can understand this…It will not get any better unless someone makes an active, conscious effort to do something differently. The biggest mistake people make is thinking that things won’t get any worse.
Nothing ever stays the same. The relationship is either growing in love, or losing love. The partners are either feeling more deeply connected or separate.
Many people feel more lonely and isolated in a bad relationship than you can imagine. A lifeless relationship can sap the life out of the partners. People can become numb, and fill their lives with insignificant busy activities to keep the emptiness away.
People often mistakenly think they have tried everything to fix the relationship when it’s not working. This is simply not true. In my personal experience, and work with couples, there is one clear way to tell if the relationship can be salvaged. It takes one committed partner to step up and become courageous. It takes one person to decide that they will do what’s necessary. It takes one person to prioritize giving completely and selflessly to their partner, expecting nothing in return.
When one person puts the needs of the relationship ahead of themselves, it will only take a relatively short period of time before they know the truth. Is it better to know the truth now, or later? Are you in a relationship with someone who for whatever reason, will never be able to give you what you desperately want and need? Do you know this to be absolutely true? Is that worth knowing sooner or later?
Some people think if they ignore the situation it will magically get better. However, that’s not a very practical strategy for happiness.
Fortunately, we get to decide what’s acceptable to us in our lives. We also get to decide what we are willing do. For things to change, someone will have to DO something.
Make a decision today about what kind of marriage or intimate relationship you really want. Also make a decision about what YOU are willing to do to make that happen. If you, or someone you know is serious about learning how to totally shift their relationship, send me an email to firstname.lastname@example.orgThere are specific strategies that will give you the results you want, but they will not work unless you do them. It requires a commitment. You will never control your partner, but you do have the power to influence them. How’s that been working for you so far?
Great article, it is so true. People often focus on what they are not getting, rather on what they can give. If one person focuses on raising his/her own personal standards, rather than expecting that from the other partner, things can shift very quickly for good.