It’s no secret that intimate relationships are the cause of more pain and more pleasure than any other area in our lives. Romance, love and passion are all powerful forces. They pull us in. Yet, they can turn our world upside down, leaving us in pain just as easily as they can lift us up to amazing heights of happiness, joy and fulfillment.
We can feel an amazing deep connection one day and then wonder what happened as we struggle to make sense of our partner. What happened to the spark that initially caused that intense attraction…where did it go?
How do you bridge the gap back to what was once an amazing connection, from the cold reality of today’s existence? Is it even possible to return to love?
Maybe it’s our partner’s fault because they changed, and we don’t feel attracted to them anymore. Sometimes we can have no idea where they are even coming from. What if you barely get along? Even conversations can be stressful. What do we do about this constant struggle to relate over even the most basic issues? And how do we know when to give up and move on?
Our friends and family have all kinds of ideas about what we should do, but none of it works. After all, most of them are not exactly role models for fulfilling relationships.
There are plenty of couples who have extraordinary intimate relationships even after 40-50 years together. Relationships do not normally lose love, connection and passion over the years. What is the standard that you have for your relationship? Are you modeling an extraordinary relationship today, or have you settled for something that is lukewarm at best.
Re-ignite the spark in your relationship with these 5 Strategies:
1). Stop arguing with your partner. Do not try so solve any disagreements. Leave those alone for now. Do not try to fix anything that you think is wrong with your partner. This may seem strange to you, but it will free some of the essential energy needed to restore your relationship. Trying to prove you are right is not the answer that you need.
2). Be who you were in the beginning of the relationship. You probably were playful and fun to be around back then. Maybe you were even downright silly because love can do interesting things to you … can’t it? You are not doing what you were in the beginning, or it would be like it was in the beginning. If you truly loved someone what would you do for them?
3). Have heartfelt understanding for your partner. Put yourself in their shoes and FEEL how they feel. This is not head -felt understanding. This is about the heart. What do you notice when you are in their shoes? There are always two sides to every story. Do you know your partners side of the story? Maybe there is something that you need to do as a result of this new understanding.
4). Put your partner first; their hopes, their dreams, their desires. Focus on giving your partner what they need. Do you know what they need? Can you give it to them in the way that they want to receive it? You can’t just intellectualize this. You have to actually give to them. This is not about waiting for your partner to give to your first. You be the one to give first. When there is really love and passion, and not just people who tolerate each other, or stay together for the kids, you will always find that they put their partner first.
5). Get back to your core masculine or feminine energy. Like two magnets, it takes polarity, or opposite energy to cause attraction. However, turn one of the magnets around and they repel each other. This happens in relationships when couples get depolarized. People get discouraged because they don’t know how to meet each others needs so a shift in energy occurs. In 95% of all couples both men and women are well intentioned towards their partner but feel constantly misunderstood and frustrated by their needs and communication style.
For example: Men don’t feel like they can succeed so they get tentative, and women protect themselves by being strong. A man might give up because he can’t figure out how to make the woman happy taking on a more feminine energy, and the woman becomes frustrated with the man’s ability to understand her so she takes on more masculine energy.
At first, this might be a very subtle shift. But over time, this lack of polarity is like cold water poured on the spark of attraction, and… it’s gone. In my opinion, this is the biggest single issue that causes challenges in relationships, and the #1 cause of divorce.
Intimate relationships can be relatively easy when you know what to do. Passion can be like a switch that you turn on when you have the right energy in a relationship. It is independent of age or time spent together.
Imagine what a difference a loving, fulfilling, intimate relationship will make in your life. Imagine what it might be like to know that every day your relationship is growing in love. These 5 strategies used effectively can shift even the most difficult, challenging situations. Now decide what you want your relationship to ultimately look like, and what you will do next in order to have it?