When you were head over heels in love what was wrong in your life?
The passion between two people, the deep connection, sexual chemistry, and the desire for each other does not have to drift silently away. This does happen to most couples, but it does not have to happen to you.
We all live busy, hectic lives and if we are honest, we neglect our partners from time to time. We take them for granted. Yes, they do the same thing to us, but I will focus on what one person can do to restore passion in their relationship….that one person being YOU reading this now.
Restoring passion starts in your mind and actions. It will not happen by itself after 3 years of nothing no matter how much you wish it was the way it used to be.
Here are 4 things you need to know:
1. Have Courage – There will be times when you will not want do what you are about to read. Your courage will help you do it anyway. It only takes less than 20 seconds of courage at a time. It takes courage to make something greater happen in your life.
2. Make a Commitment – If you want to create something amazing, you have to do something about it often. You can’t go to the gym once every two months and expect to be fit. Commit to making these new ideas a habit.
3. Be Clear – Have a clear idea of what you want to create in your relationship. If you don’t know what you specifically want, it won’t happen. The more clear you are, the more efficiently you will work towards making it happen.
4. Use Your Creativity – The more you are willing to try new things and to expand on whatever is already working to create a unique experience, the more aliveness you bring into the relationship. We are only limited by our willingness to be creative.
Here’s 5 steps to take:
Step 1 Change your tone with your partner. Soften up and lighten up. Come from your heart and remember or imagine that you care so much for this other person. Really notice them and appreciate them for who they are. Let go of resentments and bitterness from the past for these moments. Drop any harshness from your voice or posture.
Step 2 Initiate Connection- While you have changed your tone, touch your partner more often, hold them, and kiss them. Bring more affection into your day to day routine no matter what else is going on.
Step 3 Entice- Remind them of things that you find sexy about them. Be specific, and tell them. Surprise them with an unexpected whisper about what you want to do with them. Allow that to sink in and percolate. Let it simmer. Be playful and fun. Passion is enticed out, it cannot be forced. Sensual teasing is good.
Step 4 Linger- When you hug them or touch them or kiss them, maintain the connection for just a little longer. Take your time allowing the feeling to grow. Stay a little longer when you whisper in their ear. Hold your eye contact longer when you talk with them or tell them what you find sexy about them. Bathe yourself in these feelings of small connections that are building and heating up. Slow down, you’ll like it.
Step 5 Surprise- Everyone likes pleasant surprises. Create a habit of doing different things and exploring. Do something unexpected. Use your creativity to bring a new sense of aliveness to something that might be routine. Every moment can be different.
Do these things regularly and the chemistry and passion in your relationship will not disappear. It’s far more likely to grow and expand. Imagine how you will feel in a passionate, deeply connected relationship. Imagine the aliveness that you will feel in these new moments. Bring more playfulness and fun, and curiosity and adventure into your relationship. Start today because everything else can wait.