What you may not know is that Valentine’s Day is the beginning of the end for many couples.
Many people evaluate the happiness and success of their marriages and romantic love-lives, based on whether or not their expectations for Valentine’s Day are met.
Valentine’s Day’s unmet expectations often turn into the final straw of a year’s worth of unfulfilling romantic love. Unfortunately, the increasing result of this disappointment often leads to affairs and ultimately divorce.
According to a study of divorce filings by AttorneyFee.com, and Avvo.com, both legal referral sites,
they found that February is the busiest month of the year for divorce filings. People seeking referrals
for divorce increase about 40% in February, with the biggest spike on the day after Valentine’s Day.
A number of cheating websites for married individuals seeking affairs, report that the day after Valentine’s Day is their #1 day for new sign ups.
What expectations do you have around Valentine’s Day?
If you are in a struggling relationship, Valentine’s Day might remind you of your romantic dream
about love that was lost. Of course thinking about the love you don’t have will only make you
bitter, sad and resentful.
You cannot save a year of disappointment and unhappiness by doing any of these most
socially popular things; giving a greeting card, candy, obligatory dinner, or a dozen roses.
Let’s get real:
- Can candy save a love-less marriage?
- Can a dozen roses overcome an affair?
- Can a greeting card restore intimacy and passion?
- Can a forced attempt at a romantic dinner improve couple communication?
Instead, change your thinking about the Day with these 3 things:
- Have Perspective– The value of your relationship is not contingent upon one day’s expectations, and unrealistic romantic desires. Do not let this one day decide the fate of your relationship. You are where you are in your relationship for many reasons that have absolutely nothing to do with Valentine’s Day.
- Focus on Giving to Your Partner- You could make the day about valuing them. Show your appreciation for your partner in whatever way is most genuine for you. If you are willing to let go of your romanticized expectations, you will not be held emotionally hostage by the day. Even if you are hurt and bitter, you can still find something to appreciate about your partner.
- Start Working towards Something Better– Make a commitment to improve the standard for loving your partner. Even if you think they are completely to blame for any relationship challenges, perhaps you have not been so perfect. A relationship is a shared responsibility and any interactions require two participants. Take responsibility for your part.
Today’s the day you can begin to shift and improve your relationship.
Winning the game of love happens through what you give, not from demands or attempts to control the other person.
The success of your relationship will always be reflected by what you do and fail to do.
Want my support? Reach out to talk with me here.
Want to do it yourself? Read The 90-Minute Marriage Miracle
Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot,
Nothing is going to get better. It’s not. -Dr. Seuss