No one is intentionally creating unhappiness in their marriage. It happens because people don’t have the skills needed to live and love happily ever after.
Your marriage will model many of the behaviors that you saw in your parents’ interactions. That’s just a conditioned reality.
That experience can be a recipe for success, or a recipe for unhappiness.
If what you saw back then wasn’t joyful, affectionate, loving and communicative, your marriage is likely to be challenging.
Because having a great relationship is a skill. It’s a learned behavior.
No different than flying a plane.
You can learn how to do that really well. But you have to get an expert to either model that for you, or to teach you.
You will not figure out how to fly a plane on your own, and you won’t have a successful marriage if you don’t have the skills.
To pretend you’re a pilot when you’re not will end in disaster.
To imagine that you have the skills for a happy and deeply fulfilling marriage may not be accurate, if that isn’t what exits in your life right now.
You could think of lots or reasons why it isn’t that way, but the truth is whatever it is.
Your success won’t come because you want it to, or because you love your partner.
It will come because you were willing to learn the skills to pilot your marriage successfully.
- Wanting it to work isn’t enough.
- Hoping it’s going to get better will end in disappointment.
- Learning and doing what works is all that matters.
What you and your partner know about sustaining love for a lifetime will always be reflected in your results.
Each year over 2 million couples divorce. It’s not because they’ve fallen out of love. It’s because they didn’t know what to do to keep love alive for a lifetime.
Here are easy ways to learn the skills:
Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot,
Nothing is going to get better. It’s not. -Dr. Seuss