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THIS is the Truth About Marriage and Divorce

Any marriage can be turned around.

Unless one of you doesn’t want that to happen.

 

There are only things that get in the way,

and there are things that need to be learned.

 

Understanding what they are, and being willing to make

the behavioral adjustments is all that’s ever needed.

 

Nothing else will be successful.

Marriages don’t fail by themselves.

 

People fail to do what serves and supports the deep

feeling of connection.

 

And that starts the unraveling of the bond of the relationship.

 

Resulting in millions of affairs, secretive texting and sexting,

and divorce.

  • If you want to communicate better…
  • If you want to increase affection and intimacy…
  • If you want to resolve conflicts…
  • If you want to build trust…
  • If you want to prevent affairs…
  • If you want to prevent divorce…

Then focus on deepening your connection.

Without that nothing will help.

 

That’s where Your things get in the way.

And that’s where You need to learn. 

Of course the same is true of your partner.

 

Educate yourself. Be willing to admit what you might not know.

Most importantly be willing to get the right help.

 

The information to improve your marriage is easily available here.

The guidance to do that is right here.

 

What you fail to do is often the very thing that creates disconnect

leading to your own unhappiness.

.

 

Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot.

Nothing is going to get better. It’s not.  -Dr. Seuss.

 

 

 

Where’s Your Proof of Love?

How do I know my wife loves me?

Just because she says so…?

Is that enough?

What evidence in my life points to her loving me?

And what keeps me in this relationship with her if she isn’t offering me substantial proof of her love for me?

These are real questions.

I want you to think about them for your relationship.

What proof…, What evidence do you give your partner every single day that you truly love them?

If you’re not offering something tangible and solid they won’t feel it.

  • The words I love you become superficial.
  • A ritualistic hug and kiss here or there is not the same as affection.
  • Obligatory sex is not passion.
  • Talking about the kids doesn’t create feelings of intimate connection.
  • Watching TV or being on your phones together does not help communication.

Where’s the deep caring?

How do you specifically demonstrate that you value your partner?

Is that enough for them?  Are they doing enough for you?

Do they fully and completely trust you? Do you trust them fully?

When trust leaves the relationship it’s impossible to be happy.

Now…

Do you love yourself enough to tell yourself the truth about your marriage?

This is where it gets interesting.  

  • What are you putting up with?
  • What standard have you settled for love?
  • What stories, and soft lies, and rationalizations are you living?
  • Where are you pretending it’s ok, when it’s not?

Do you love them enough to want to improve your marriage?

Do they love you enough to be willing to participate?

Read my book together.

Talk with me for direct answers to your situation.

Your commitment is what transforms a promise into reality.

 

Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot,

Nothing is going to get better. It’s not.  -Dr. Seuss

 

Thanksgiving Wisdom for Your Marriage

It’s been an interesting 12 years of helping couples fix their marriages.

I’ve seen pretty much anything you could ever imagine times 3.

I’ve worked with swingers and swappers, open marriages, gay and lesbian relationships, and every type of physical and emotional affair possible.

The common themes are all the same:

  • People don’t know what to do in order to have the love and intimacy they crave.
  • They make simple mistakes frequently that sever the feelings of connection. That’s where the downhill spiral begins. And that’s what must change for things to get better.
  • They have undisclosed expectations that of course remain unmet. This creates unhappiness and bitterness that builds up.
  • They blame and finger point without realizing that they are active participants in the disconnect as well. Are you willing to shine the spotlight of truth on yourself?
  • People often unknowingly bring their personal stress into each interaction adding a disconnecting wedge.
  • There’s more….
Here’s what you need to remember:
Disagreements and arguments are only about two things:
  1.   Who is more right
  2.   And who is more important.
 
People will do what gets their needs met… either inside,… or outside of your marriage.

This Thanksgiving and through the Holidays do not try to solve any relationship problems on your own.

Do not get into heated discussions about what your partner isn’t doing for you. Stress levels are high enough. There’s no reason to add to it.

Here’s what to do instead:

  • Make a decision to get help as soon as possible. With or without your partner.
  • Do what you can to personally offset your own inner stress. Take care of you!
  • Be kind to your partner. Be considerate of their stress levels.
  • Choose to be as peaceful as possible. Creating additional pressure for them to change or ultimatums will backfire.
Wishing you and your family a loving, and peaceful Thanksgiving!
 
Remember… Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, 
nothing is going to get better. It’s not.  -Dr. Seuss